HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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