Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Text me some of your sweat
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