She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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