I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
