I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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