addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
