I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
