Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
