At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Im part way to drunk.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
