whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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