I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
