24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
