Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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