I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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