Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
