Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
