Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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