is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
