he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
