Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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