Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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