Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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