you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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