And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
