I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
