I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize