dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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