...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
