I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
