yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
