Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
