I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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