what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
