Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
