Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
