I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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