I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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