Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My dick has a subreddit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
