I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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