My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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