The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think people are normalizing furries
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
