can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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