Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
