with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
