The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
