if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
