eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
