You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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