i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
