if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
