I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
