u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
