i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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